Original Publish Date: January 10, 2008
World Report
Plover Strike: "Rat With Wings" Lands in Hospital, No Negotiations
By Eartha
Florida, U.S.A. - After exactly two weeks of relatively peaceful protest, the plover strike for worker's rights has grown violent, resulting in riots and outrage among both the birds and the gators. Alligator Marvin Smith, of the 200 block of South Swamp, told GRR it all started when he made the decision to pay a pigeon half of what he paid his plover Alex to clean his teeth each day. "My new guy crossed the picket line and those vultures, the plovers, started calling this guy a rat with wings. He was shaking like a Chihuahua by the time he walked through my door."
The violence started when the pigeon, who asked that his name be withheld, left Smith's house in the late afternoon. He told GRR from his room at St. Bernard's Hospital, "I had carefully packed my tools so none of those plovers could see what I was up to, and just as I got to my car I felt a jolt to the back of my head. I didn't know what hit me." One of the angry plover strikers jumped onto the pigeon's back and pecked him repeatedly until the pigeon collapsed amid much cheering from the striking birds.
Within minutes of the attack, plovers broke from their picket lines and took to the streets flapping their wings wildly, chanting: "Plover strikers pave the way! We won't work for little pay!" The scene became surly when several younger strikers jumped on top of a passing vehicle and began rocking it back and forth, chanting all the while. GRR caught up with the driver, a hedgehog currently holed up in his south Tampa condo: "It was the scariest thing. I was just trying to go to the store to pick up the ShoreCraft expansion pack, and these maniacs took over my car just like that. I didn't even know about their stupid strike."
Two weeks into the plover strike, the air is thick with tension -
and the fetid stench of rotting meat.
Plover Union #428 spokesplover Ernie Mancey told GRR that his group would continue to up the ante until the alligators start paying attention to the plovers' demands. "We ain't asking a lot here. We made our conditions very clear. We ain't cleaning no teeth until we get a respectable increase in wages, better holiday pay, and better health benefits for all. We work hard and work long hours, and we're not going to be batted away like mosquitoes. We think we deserve a little more."
When asked if the Union condones the violence, Mancey shifted his weight and said, after a pause, "We never condone violence. But we do need to be heard, and if that means raising our voices once in a while we're not afraid to do it, or to do it again."
Alligators have not agreed to meet the plovers at the negotiating table, and insist - especially after the recent bout of violence - that they ought to be free to employ other animals who will "be happy to have the work," like the pigeon who visited Smith at his home. The question is, can they do the job safely? And is getting the work worth risking their lives?
The pigeon's doctors anticipate he will pull through and be released within a week. But will he return to work cleaning alligator teeth? "Heck no," he told GRR. "I'm going to do something safe, like work for the parks district."
Stay with GRR News for ongoing developments.
Reader Feedback:
The pigeon is a rat and rats deserve what rats deserve. By going in and doing that job for cheap he's endangering the lives of all those plovers trying to do what's right. The plovers have families to raise too, you know.
-Simone, Marabou Stork, Democratic Republic of Congo
You are all alligator sympathizers, including Right Wing Nut Eartha. I hope that one day you are in need of a job and can't get one that pays well.
-Steve, Fire Salamander, Italy
I am non-striking, non-union plover who is now stuck making no money while everyone else strikes for more money. I ask, does this make any sense?
-Withheld, Plover, Florida
Test?
-Sami, Damselfly, U.S.A.
