Original Publish Date: January 16, 2008
Technology Report
Caught in the Net: Liar 1.3
By Zeno
Everybody knows that to date many of the ladies at one time takes heavy amounts of discipline and the good memory. For example, if you have one hot delicious cow \(not actual type of cow like with udders, but dolphin female type cow\) named Shirley, and her birthday is in June, and another one almost as hottie but not quite named Thelma, and her birthday is in October, you don't want to call Thelma in June and say, "Happy Birthday Thelma!" because she will no doubt understand then that you are a cheating no good type who has hotter girlfriend with June birthday and never call you again \(and she would be right because Shirley is foxy!\). But there's a bigger type trouble Zeno get into sometimes on a daily basis that has to do with telling one lady I can't take her to fancy feedfest or discotheque because I have to take my mom Zelda to the doctors or to help friend Alexo move his keyboards or something, and then lady ask how the move went, or how mom Zelda is doing and Zeno forget and say, "Huh?" and then lady break up with me in hang up and never talk to again style.
Alexo tell me this is no type of worry in the era of the electronics splendor and infosupercauseway because there is softwares now to fix this problem with keeping stories in the line. It's called Liar 1.3 and this is a base for your lie information with good organization and intuition to use it, Alexo say. He hook me up with a copy because his uncle work at the MelonHead software at the mall. There is no end to the magic in this thing. I start it up and enter the names of all the ladies I know, and then check boxes to connect ladies to other ladies who might also know certain of the ladies I know. I even put mom Zelda in, too, because I lie to her sometimes and this new Liar 1.3 thing save my skin.
Here is how the thing work. Whenever Zeno tell a lie or small type of not so true story to one lady, say, Bella, Zeno enter the lie into Bella's section on Liar 1.3. Then automagically this explanation of what I want Bella to believe is true is linked to all dolphins and sea creatures that Zeno knows who also know Bella. Say Zeno talk to Mary and Mary is Bella's best friend. Liar 1.3 remind Zeno what Bella thinks is true, which she might have also told Mary at the mall one day, so Zeno don't blow it by saying, "What dentist appointment?" when I should have been giving Mary a ride to her swim meet.
That is in the hypothetical. Here is how I try it out in the real action. One day Tiffany call Zeno and say, "Hey Zeno, let's go swimming and for sushi," and Zeno has big time date with less pretty but maybe sometimes a little sexier if not so smart Jenny. Zeno don't want to blow chance with Tiffany, but wants sure thing Jenny to work out, too. I tell Tiffany that mom Zelda needs inside of cove painted and try to move date to next week. She say, "Ok!" and I say, "Ok!" then rush to Liar 1.3 to tell this softwares what Tiffany know. I type it all in about cove painting. I see by the checked boxes that Tiffany knows three other cows Zeno know, so they all link to this lie in case I see them at mall or at feedshack or disco. Then Zeno have hot date with Jenny, and next week, before Tiffany come over, Zeno check Liar 1.3 and it remind that yes, Tiffany will ask about cove painting! Sure like a tangle of squid, Tiffany walk in and say, "The walls look great, Zeno!" and Zeno not like stupid empty melon for a change say, "Thanks!" instead of "Huh?"
The Bottlenose Line: Liar 1.3 not so useful in dealing with mom Zelda because she has super sense of knowing when Zeno is not in the truth category of things. Also, in situation with Tiffany, if mom Zelda in the room when Tiffany come in and say, "The walls look great, Zeno," mom Zelda say, "Huh?" and blow whole deal. One opportunity is to share Liar 1.3 with mom Zelda, but then can't lie to mom Zelda or she find it in base of data and kick Zeno out of basement. Overall, for dealing with cows and friends, Liar 1.3 is a melon saver every bull needs to have on the computer in the hiding.
